“Many of the most successful and hardworking men, men with the best of intentions, spend their whole lives as virtual workaholics for God or family. They hope their commitment of energy and investment of time will save their soul, support their family, and make them worthy of eternal life. In this way we seem to avoid the depth and joy of life right now–so that we can get extended life later, which is an odd strategy. Do we really want life, or not?”
—from On the Threshold of Transformation by Richard Rohr
(Day 72, Workaholics For God)
Tom’s Reflection:
We’re approaching the Labor Day weekend, which makes me think about the place of work in my life. Last year I did an 8-day silent retreat and the question I came away asking myself was, “Whose work are you doing?” At first I thought this question was about who calls the shots when I arrive on the job, but upon reflection I came to see that it’s a deeper issue than that. The question is really one of what is driving me in my approach to work. Is it a need to prove myself to others? Is it a compulsive approach to calming my fears of economic insecurity? Is it a way to distance myself from my family when emotions are running high and I feel uncertain as to how to just show up? Of course at one time or another, it’s been all of these and more. And I’ve found that, like most compulsions, after a while the driven behavior becomes just an end in itself—a way to get me back to an ever-more demanding status quo. In short, sometimes I just need the adrenaline rush of problem solving just to avoid crashing and burning.
I proved that to myself on a number of vacations. In years when I’ve been pushing myself mercilessly on the job, the first day of vacation often feels as though I’ve been driving along in a car going 80 mph when the car suddenly halts and I wind up smashing through the windshield. When it takes me the whole vacation to realize just how much I needed a vacation, I’m working too hard, and I should ask myself why. When you’re involved in any compulsive action over a long period of time, it takes a while to come to your senses again. And only then can you know “Whose work am I doing?”
P.S. I’m planning to spend time in nature this weekend as a way to come back to my senses. How do you keep balance around the place of work in your life?
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